autopilot

It's starting to feel like autopilot. I could drive to PCH with my eyes closed and tell you all that will happen when we walk in the doors step by step and what the doctors will do. Not a feeling I ever wanted but it's a better feeling than the unknown. No we don't like the ER or anything involved but the feeling of we have done this before is such a relief. Presley had a rough go at the ER last night. 

It is just a huge reality check when life is going good and there you are putting EMLA cream on in preparation for a port access. I was more calm than usual, I'm sure its the anxiety medications that I have finally been taking. But autopilot helps. Presley has had a little bug and the fever hit. We were in the fever zone for more than 2 hours so that means a trip to the ER. Fevers always spike when clinic is closed and when daddy is out of town. 

I found a friend to come watch Crew and we left for the ER at about 10:00pm. It was routine and again nothing new. I'm thankful for that port that all these times she is not getting an IV started, that's stressful with a kid. Port access are stressful too but I know shes not feeling the pain of a poke. She had blood cultures done and then the nose swab. She is still talking about how she didn't like that part. Poor girl is already feeling crummy and then the nose swab. The swab came back positive for Rhino Virus. Her ANC is 5000 (high due to the virus) so we did not have to spend the night. They were so busy last night and sorta forgot about us needing to be discharged. Presley was beyond tired and so irritable. She just wanted to go home. I felt the same way. We finally got a little pushy and asked for a different nurse so we could be de-access and go home. We got home at about 2:30am she was out in 5 min. 

She feel asleep for a few min. and then woke up so irritated by the pulse ox and had a major melt down. 

I'm thankful all this is just a virus but reminded how complicated life gets with just a virus. I'm left today, tired and wore out. This is a feeling I can't seem to shake these days. So thankful we didn't have to spend the night in-patient. I didn't bother to tell Daddy about all this as he is out of town for a moment that he has been waiting for for a long time..an interview with a aviation job. He didn't need the burden or the distraction the night before. I'm learning to try and lean on others and asking for help. Its hard but I'm getting there. I hope Presley recovers quickly and back to feeling better.