I often catch a glimpse of people looking and staring at me while sitting at a red light. Yes, my husband is driving and I'm in the back seat holding my scared, bald child. She has cancer and it sucks. I don't know these people. And yes, I do know the consequences of not having a child in a car seat. I often catch a glimpse of people staring at us as we walk through the store with a mask. If only they knew how hard it was to even get my three year old to wear the mask. I'm sure we look strange because sometimes I have to wear a mask too. That's often the only way I can get her to wear her mask. If only these people knew. If only they could feel our heartache. Others often suggests that I should give Presley this or that and not that. Trust me I don't love that fact that sometimes the only thing I can get her to eat is McDonald's french fries. The alternative is a feeding tube, so we will keep eating french fries and chocolate! Even I don't know what "metal" food tastes like while taking chemo. I have been told to make sure and not spoil my child too much. Spoil. Well those extra things that I do for Presley now are just ways to make up for all the crap she has to put up with. The course she is on is not what your typical child does everyday. Playing, running, swimming, jumping and carefree. I will remind those that we take meds, we cry, have been forced to learn way too much about medical terms, wear masks, shave heads, and relearning the simple life skills. I can go on. The best part about all this, I don't care what people think. I would have months ago. Today I can walk on by and never look back.
In the past 2 months I have learned a valuable lesson about life. This valuable lesson is called judgement. Who am I to judge another? I don't know the story behind everyones individual problems. I don't know why people wear what they wear. I don't know the cause of others actions. But I do know that we all have a story to tell. I often find myself really looking at people and studying, as if I could see into their heart and soul and know more about their story. I look at them a wonder what trials they have endured. I look at them and wonder what is hurting inside their heart and what hardship they are struggling to overcome. Everyone has trials. EVERYONE. I find myself looking at woman with young children and think, I sure hope she doesn't have to ever see her child go through what mine has. I look at woman and wonder if any of those woman has heard those 4 words "Your child has cancer". I wonder if any of those people have had to shave their child's head. I have found myself loving people more, and seeing no judgment. I'm not trying to say that I'm a perfect person, it's not easy to not judge. Judgement comes much easier than the opposite. Non-judgement involves so much more. I don't want people to judge me when they don't know my story. I try everyday to replace judgment with love and understanding. I have had so much more patience, and tolerance for people and children. I often drive slow, and point out everything I can see for Presley to see, as to brighten her drive as we make the long drive to "clinic". This drive usually involves tears and a lot of convincing or bribing. People honk, yell and even flip me off. If only they knew. It's one of the hardest things to do is to tell your child she has to go into clinic, yet again and we were just there. Driving slow to look at the crane or to look at the flock of birds, is just a distraction. It's a slower paced lifestyle. Walking one foot in front of each other and living day by day is so much slower. I have learned that in life when you are living day by day you are able to absorb what life is trying to teach you. Life forces you to slow down and smell the roses.
"If we could look into each other's hears and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other with more love, patience, tolerance and care." -Marvin J. Ashton
Less judgement and more love, I can only imagine what life would be like.
In the past 2 months I have learned a valuable lesson about life. This valuable lesson is called judgement. Who am I to judge another? I don't know the story behind everyones individual problems. I don't know why people wear what they wear. I don't know the cause of others actions. But I do know that we all have a story to tell. I often find myself really looking at people and studying, as if I could see into their heart and soul and know more about their story. I look at them a wonder what trials they have endured. I look at them and wonder what is hurting inside their heart and what hardship they are struggling to overcome. Everyone has trials. EVERYONE. I find myself looking at woman with young children and think, I sure hope she doesn't have to ever see her child go through what mine has. I look at woman and wonder if any of those woman has heard those 4 words "Your child has cancer". I wonder if any of those people have had to shave their child's head. I have found myself loving people more, and seeing no judgment. I'm not trying to say that I'm a perfect person, it's not easy to not judge. Judgement comes much easier than the opposite. Non-judgement involves so much more. I don't want people to judge me when they don't know my story. I try everyday to replace judgment with love and understanding. I have had so much more patience, and tolerance for people and children. I often drive slow, and point out everything I can see for Presley to see, as to brighten her drive as we make the long drive to "clinic". This drive usually involves tears and a lot of convincing or bribing. People honk, yell and even flip me off. If only they knew. It's one of the hardest things to do is to tell your child she has to go into clinic, yet again and we were just there. Driving slow to look at the crane or to look at the flock of birds, is just a distraction. It's a slower paced lifestyle. Walking one foot in front of each other and living day by day is so much slower. I have learned that in life when you are living day by day you are able to absorb what life is trying to teach you. Life forces you to slow down and smell the roses.
"If we could look into each other's hears and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other with more love, patience, tolerance and care." -Marvin J. Ashton
Less judgement and more love, I can only imagine what life would be like.
Love you! Thank you so much for those beautiful words.
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