Once upon a time, life we never imagined, searching for our "happy ever after"

Before I was even Pregnant I read books about pregnancy. I prepared my body in so many ways before I even wanted to get pregnant. I had a full medical exam made sure that I was up on all my vaccinations. I had taken classes about brain development in college. I read books on having a perfect hormone balance during pregnancy and followed it to the tee! I was an advocate to other moms how you should read to your child. I researched prenatal vitamins and found the best kind. I took them 3 months before I even planed to get pregnant. The moment I found out I was pregnant I did everything I was suppose to do. I said goodbye to all cold/sick medications, I ate the right amount of veggies and protein. I gave up sugar (until about 8 months prego :) I planned for a drug free birth. I didn't dye my hair. I drank 100 oz of water a day. I exercised everyday, I sang songs and read stories to my big belly. I studied and worried about autism so I read about an alternative vaccine schedule. I nursed Presley until she was 14 months old. That was hard, and it would have been really easy to quit but I knew it was best for her. She never had formula. I made my own baby food and never heated her food in plastic containers. I even thought about using cloth diapers. Presley had no sugar (treats) for the first year of her life and not really a ton after that either. Presley never had a dose of antibiotics until March 12, she was healthy and that's what I planned.

But today I live the life not like I imagined

I never imagined: 

I would battle with my 3 year old for her life

I would shave my daughters head

I never imagined the pain I would feel as I watch my child crying in pain

I would wear so many orange bracelets and spend my time fighting for other kids too.

I would hear..."your child has cancer"

I would feel so alone.

I also never imagined the strangers that I would met and love.

I never imagined the softening of my heart and soul 

I could love and fight this hard

I would find so much comfort and identify in the words of other ALL moms. 

how my prospective on life could change so much

I have come to believe that everything happens for a reason. I did not cause this cancer and despite all my planning and preparing for what I thought was going to be the best results our Heavenly Father had a different plan for us. 

I believe everything happens for a reason. 

People change so that you learn to let go. 

Things so wrong so that you can learn to appreciate them when they're right. 

You believe lies so that you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. 

And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. 

-Marlyn Monroe

Our little Princess and her battle with Leukemia

I have also learned that you can't feel joy without the pain. Life is never all sunshine and roes. Even for fairy-tale princess, before the "Happy ever after", there came "once upon a times" of poisoned apples, sacrifices and impossible tasks. Cinderella had to endure her wicked stepmother and step sisters. Rapunzel was taken from her parents and raised by an evil mother who kept her hidden, Belle had to sacrifice and spend months in the castle with the beast to save her father. Presley has endured being scared, having pain and fighting for her life battling cancer.  All those princesses experiences great sadness, adversity and tragedy. We must know that we have to feel opposition in all things or else we could not know the different between bitter and sweet. Adversity teaches us things that we could not teach ourselves. The adversity in my life has taught be to be more patient, more loving, less judgemental. The pain in my life has softened my heart. God has sent us trials so we could become stronger and find more joy. No one is exempt, we will all feel pain and hurt. When you overcome that challenge you grow and become stronger. 

"It is your Reaction to adversity not the adversity itself 

that determines how your life's story will develop"

-Dieter Uchtdorf

A scripture that I once had taped to my mirror at the age of 22 when I was  facing a hard but very different challenge was this. This scripture still give me comfort.

"Your adversity and your affliction 

shall be but a small moment; 

and then, 

if you endure it well, 

God shall exalt you on high." 

#icandohardthings

#itwillallworkout

#endureitwell

#happenissisachoice 

#comewhatmayandloveit

#bestrong