Merry Chirstmas

I worried, stressed and had a hard time trying to make plans for Christmas. I really didn't want to be disappointed. I convinced myself that it would better to just wait until the very end to make plans. Then I would not be disappointed if we just ended up staying in SLC of the hospital for the holidays. We planned on going to Grandma and Grandpas but when was the unknown. As the days approached Christmas Eve and everyone was healthy I was so excited with the thought of maybe we would have a holiday with no drama this year. It happened. We spent a week in Southern Utah (already miss those blue skies). It was just our family for the first few days and then the cousins joined us. It's always crazy when you have a house full of 19 people...but it feels good to be with those you love.  My heart is full of gratitude and we feel so blessed this holiday season. We have had angles among us. I will forever be grateful that cancer did not steal this Christmas. I cherish those memories that were made and so thankful that Presley felt good. Seeing a child on a holiday not feeling well is so hard for a mom to take and when it happens so often its even harder. You want them so bad to feel like a normal child. We have cancer buddies who Christmas was stolen. Our hearts are full for those who's Christmas were not what they planned. One cancer buddy was diagnosed during this last week. One spent Christmas Eve sick with a fever in the ER and one was too sick to even enjoy Christmas from harsh chemo in DI. My heart is softened and know that Holidays are not always easy for everyone. Often tragedy strikes at the worse possible moment. 10 years ago was a hard holiday for me when the person I loved walked out on me. We learn to forgive, forget and to choose happiness. We learn through those hard times to love more and to be more kind. We learn to judge less and be more generous. We learn to cherish memories and to hold those tight for they might be the last Christmas with a loved one. We also learn that hard times help carry us through even harder times that come later in life. The lessons I learned after packing up the car loaded with Christmas gifts for each other headed for Christmas in Southern Utah 10 years ago when I was told "I don't love you any more"and then spend that Christmas devastated and heart broken are lessons I will NEVER forget. I learned at a young age to forgive and forget and to choose happiness. Today as I'm in the thick of another very devastating trail I know what choosing happiness is and how if I do it,  I will come out winning in the end. Our trials make us who we are and shape us into a more perfect person. I'm by far perfect but I know my trials have softened my heart and taught me more in my life than the happy days have.
I'm so thankful for Christmas that we were able to forget about cancer, that was the best present I received.